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Septic Service: How to Talk About the Thing Nobody Wants to Talk About

Plain, friendly ways for a septic service company to talk about pumping, inspections and what not to flush, without making anybody squirm.

By Explainer Music Videos · October 17, 2026 · 4 min read

Nobody wants to think about their septic tank. Out of sight, out of mind, right up until the yard gets soggy or the toilets gurgle. And if you run a septic service, that makes marketing tricky: how do you remind people about something they'd rather not think about at all?

The good news is that people will listen if you're friendly, plain and useful. Here's how to talk about septic without making anyone squirm.

Why is septic so hard to talk about?

It's not the subject. Everybody knows what a septic tank does. It's that it feels private, a little embarrassing, and easy to put off.

• It's buried. No one sees it, so no one checks it.
• It works until it doesn't. Nothing seems wrong for years.
• It's a little gross. People don't want to post about it or bring it up with neighbors.
• New owners often don't know. People moving from town to the country may never have had one.

That last group matters. The EPA says more than one in five homes across the country relies on a septic system. Plenty of them are owned by people who've never been told how to look after one.

What should homeowners actually know?

Keep it to a few things they can remember. The EPA's septic care page is a good source, and you can link to it in posts.

• Get it inspected. The EPA says the average household system should be inspected at least every three years by a professional. Pumping depends on the size of the house and the tank.
• Only flush the basics. The EPA's rule of thumb: nothing but human waste and toilet paper. Wipes of any kind, grease, diapers, paper towels, cat litter and medications all cause trouble.
• Don't park on the drainfield. The EPA says not to park or drive on it.
• Keep extra water away. Point gutters and sump pump drainage away from the drainfield. The EPA says excess water slows down or stops the treatment process.
• Fix running toilets. The EPA notes that a single leaky or running toilet can add as much as 200 gallons of water per day.

That's it. Five things. A homeowner who does all five is in good shape.

How do you say it without making people squirm?

A little humor goes a long way here, as long as it's friendly and not crude. People like a septic company that doesn't take itself too seriously, and they remember it.

Some example posts you can adapt:

• "Friendly reminder from your septic folks: the only things that should go down the toilet are the two things you already know about. Wipes are not one of them."
• "Moved out to the country this year? Welcome. Here's a short guide to the tank in your yard. [Link to the EPA septic page.]"
• "Grill season tip: grease goes in the trash, not down the drain. Your tank says thanks."
• "Before the ground freezes, do you know when your system was last checked? We do the remembering so you don't have to."

Notice what they have in common. Short, useful, a little light. Nothing that makes someone wince at the breakfast table.

When should you remind people?

Septic isn't as seasonal as some trades, but a few moments work well:

• Fall, before the ground freezes. A natural time to say "let's get it checked."
• When people move. If you work with realtors, a short welcome card for new owners is worth printing.
• SepticSmart Week. The EPA holds it every September. The 2026 one ran September 14 to 18. Sharing EPA material then gives you a reason to post that isn't a sales pitch.
• After a holiday weekend. Lots of guests, lots of flushing. A gentle reminder is fair game.

Check your county and state rules too, since some places have their own inspection or pumping requirements when a house is sold.

Where a song fits

Here's the thing about septic: people need you maybe once every few years, and they'll call whoever comes to mind first. A catchy, good-natured song with your company name and number is one way to be the name that comes to mind. And a song lets you talk about septic in a way that makes people smile instead of squirm.

An example, written fresh for this post:

Wipes in the trash and grease in the can, / [Your name] Septic, call the tank man.

That's The Jingle, $750, paid once: a 30-second song with your name, what you do and your phone number, a vertical video with captions for Facebook, Instagram and TikTok, a thumbnail and the MP3. Use it on social media, local radio or on hold, for as long as you like. You okay every word, and you don't pay until you've seen it. Tell us about your business.